I don’t mind the old ex-sassers little reads but why, for the sake of all that is holy, can’t the man invent a character who DOESN’T “throw food down his neck”…

At the very least, come up with another sentence to describe the act of eating.

Harry Potter gets right on my nerves.

I have no problem with something which captures the imagination, and also feel that anything that gets children to read more books is almost always a Good Thing. However, when things become faddy, overmarketed, over-hyped and generally overdone, they become shit.

Harry Potter is one of those things.

No, I don’t care what is in the next Harry Potter and the dark warrior of Azerbaijan book, and neither should you, you’re thirty for heaven’s sake!

It really astounds me how many adults go so nuts over a kiddies book. There are really talented authors out there in the world, producing great works by the dozen, which are deeper, more meaningful and importantly, a better read. But no, you want to read Harry sodding Potter.

Those godawful, endless movies

With the unlikable Daniel Radcliffe as the ever annoying child prodigy, Harry, the Harry Potter movies are the most hideous pieces of filmography. Far too many special effects, hundreds of precocious little stage school brats overacting all over the place, each with their own little Oxford English accent – which should belong to the annals of the past, or upper class boarding schools – not a little orphan boy who lives in a suburban semi with his uncle and auntie.

The stupid, stupid names – which are almost stolen from Lord of The Rings

Find out the latest adventures of Gumblebore, Bumblebee, Warbly Barbly and Buggeryluggs. Bloody stupid names.

Harry Potter lunchboxes, Harry Potter toys, Harry Potter computer games, Harry Potter snakes and ladders

There are two people who promote everything that is marketed at children in the world – and this is a fact – Shrek, and Harry Potter. The seal of approval from one of these two will see any useless old piece of tat sell to every kid in the playground. The problem with this is that it means the little bugger gets everywhere. We have Harry Potter everything now! Including Harry Potter overkill.

The smarmy little prodigal son, who’s brilliant at everything… including magic. Aspirational? Impossible. The annoying little turd.

Enough said I think. According to the Beeb’s website, the book is ‘eagerly anticipated’ and due to be published in October 2008.

I can barely wait. Soft, strong and so very absorbant. She is a widemouthed frog with a disagreeable husband and distinctly dodgy leanings – remember her representing the ‘poor’ Afghan hijackers in their Asylum case?

Would have been better had she crept under the rock that TBliar is now hiding beneath and shut up.

Cherie Blair – Autobiography. Shit.