The Shitopedia » Celebrities

Sport Relief

Jumbo — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 18:51:03 +0000

Sport Relief is a bag of self-aggrandising shit if ever I saw one. The BBC invents a charity event, then proceeds to report its existence everywhere, and even people who have nothing to do with sport whatsoever start bandwaggoning the whole thing for all it is worth. Well Done. You should all be knighted – [...]

The Celebrity Ascent of Kilimanjaro

Bindi — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 19:51:40 +0000

It was sooooo hard and they were almost sick. The poor little celebs had to climb a big mountain. They even raised £1.6 million in the process. Well done. But what they didn’t tell you was that it took 33 climbers, 2 doctors, 100 porters, two runners and half a tonne of broadcasting equipment to [...]

List of People Who Have Said “I’m So Blessed”

Bindi — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 15:04:22 +0000

Here’s the blacklist of people who claim to be among God’s chosen ones: Jenny McCarthy Nicole Kidman Katherine McPhee Michael J Fox Jessica Simpson Madonna Big Gun Yolanda Adams Movado Let us know if you come across any more.

Kanye West

Jumbo — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 11:55:49 +0000

I’m impressed that Kanye West wants us to think he drinks Ribena, and would have believed his non-written rouse, if it weren’t for one thing… Please Kanye West, explain to me, how does one pronounce the word “rubbish”?

Usher

Jumbo — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:28:07 +0000

The evergreen pushy momma’s boy Usher is a perennial irritant: coming back year after year with his absurd lyrics and insanely catchy base-lines. Usher’s music is generally above average; the guy can sing; and he also, in his mother, has a built in maternal publicity/management machine. And this is where my questions begin to appear. [...]

Tom Cruise -what a nutter

Bindi — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 22:13:49 +0000

Tom Cruise has truly gone nuts. I’m not one to believe everything I read at the hairdresser’s, but South Park must have hit the nail on the head. I didn’t know how warped his mind was until I saw this performance on Oprah. It doesn’t end there, though. David Letterman also felt the full force [...]

Jeremy Kyle

Jumbo — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 18:10:25 +0000

Jeremy Kyle, and his TV show of the same name, have been out of these pages for far too long. For years, the unemployed and unwashed of Great Britain had the dubious pleasure of witnessing every social ill that faced the UK played out in the glorious technicolour of the Trisha show. Occasionally, we would [...]

Derren Brown and the Big Con – sorry System

AngryOldWoman — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 13:01:42 +0000

Last night we watched Derren Brown, sois-disant Mentalist (mental might be the word) or illusionist, who had trailed his Channel 4 show, The System, as a foolproof way of beating the bookmakers. He purported to show a single mother, whom he had e-mailed anonymously with five horse racing winners in a row, then was to [...]

Reality TV – “I’m a Celebrity, get me out of here” in particular.

wjms — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 13:44:42 +0000

I think the trade descriptions department needs to be activated for this piece of televisual garbage. The latest UK installment has just started, and even without having watched any of it, it has already earned a mention on this erudite website. I have certain problems with Reality TV shows, but using viewer discretion, I am [...]

Middlesbrough

badgerclaw — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 13:53:53 +0000

Recently the good old Middlesbrough has been labelled as the worst place to live in Britain, with Edinburgh top of the poll. I work in Middlesbrough and was most amused to see this rant by good old Jeff Stelling, he backs up our office sentiment entirely!

Bury the Bad News

AngryOldWoman — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 11:00:19 +0000

Saturday’s Daily Telegraph (UK) buried a piece of news down page on page 9 (Saturday 3 November 2007) which is really worth a shout of Victor Meldrewness. Hidden beside the advertisements was this: ‘A Government minister who once called dangerous drivers “serial potential killers” was fined yesterday for using a mobile phone while driving. ‘Liam [...]

Why doesn’t that surprise me?

AngryOldWoman — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 09:14:50 +0000

In this day and age of transparency, when even the smallest parish councillor must declare an interest if an agenda item is in any way connected to him; and when professionals such as lawyers, accountants and the like must at all times be aware of any potential conflict of interest, why does this care-fulness not [...]

Akon

Jumbo — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 03:33:21 +0000

There are few musicians or musical acts around who annoy me more than Akon. The man has one real problem, given his career choice of being a mediocre at best singer: he has the most irritating voice in the world. Listening to Akon’s whiny strains has been likened by some to the enjoyable experience of [...]

David Letterman

Jumbo — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 06:07:01 +0000

My word, how this man still has a TV show is quite beyond me! I watched the David Letterman show the other day when I couldn’t sleep. It scared me so much I was nearly up all night. The jokes he tells are bad enough, but what nearly made me lose a night’s sleep was [...]

Jamie Oliver

Jumbo — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 11:18:46 +0000

Some things in life rub us up the wrong way. Some things really grate at us, for no apparent reason. Then there is Jamie Oliver. Jamie Oliver’s constant attempts to be a ‘cheeky chappie’ would be irritating, but forgivable, were it not for the fact that I feel seasick, because his cameraman is waving his [...]

The Not O’Clock News

AngryOldWoman — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:37:25 +0000

After my complaints of yesterday (see Telly Vision), this morning’s offerings from the great and mighty BBC Breakfast, a “news” programme were the following: 1. Picture of “reporter” still living it up in Playa de Luz, Portugal, outside police station yet again telling us there was nothing to tell us. 2. Interview with McCanns’ new [...]

Cherie Blair – Autobiography

wjms — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 09:02:43 +0000

Enough said I think. According to the Beeb’s website, the book is ‘eagerly anticipated’ and due to be published in October 2008. I can barely wait. Soft, strong and so very absorbant. She is a widemouthed frog with a disagreeable husband and distinctly dodgy leanings – remember her representing the ‘poor’ Afghan hijackers in their [...]

Paris Hilton

Jumbo — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 06:22:58 +0000

Paris Hilton embodies all that is wrong in contemporary society. She is a socialite with few morals; no sense of decency; a complete lack of conscience; and one eye on the main chance at all times. Hilton was thrown in jail for her disregard in a culmination of events played out in high-profile media-grabbing fashion [...]