The artistry and pure ingenuity of these animations is admirable -but why are they so strange?

Nothing has ever quite disturbed me as watching these cartoons. Maybe it was just poor translation or maybe they really were as bizarre as the script suggested.

Since Pokemon became so popular, people started to watch other Japanese manga and anime cartoons. I watched Akira, I film that left me feeling bewildered and unresolved in some way. Perhaps it was because I didn’t understand what the characters were doing, why they were doing it and what the end result was.

I managed to enjoy Akira and several episodes of Pokemon, only because my younger brother and I descended into fits of giggles every time we watched them.

I realise that there are some decent Japanese animations out there. What I am ranting against in this shitopedia post is the utterly incomprehensible, acid-induced, transcendental manga-style cartoons that make more sense through the lens of opiates than through the normal concentration of an open-minded film lover.

I just finished watching the movie Marie Antoinette. There’s an hour and a half of my life I’ll never get back.

What a truly awful film.

Absolutely nothing happens.

Historically, it is shambolic.

The accents and language range from American, to Oxford English, with a dose of pseudo French accents in one or two actors, and a couple of French speaking parts: what exactly were the film makers going for? If it was a dull film, with little or no basis in reality, but with some nice costumes, sound-tracked with some poorly chosen entirely unsuitable modern music, then they hit the mark with this one.

Marie Antoinette: shit.

Harry Potter gets right on my nerves.

I have no problem with something which captures the imagination, and also feel that anything that gets children to read more books is almost always a Good Thing. However, when things become faddy, overmarketed, over-hyped and generally overdone, they become shit.

Harry Potter is one of those things.

No, I don’t care what is in the next Harry Potter and the dark warrior of Azerbaijan book, and neither should you, you’re thirty for heaven’s sake!

It really astounds me how many adults go so nuts over a kiddies book. There are really talented authors out there in the world, producing great works by the dozen, which are deeper, more meaningful and importantly, a better read. But no, you want to read Harry sodding Potter.

Those godawful, endless movies

With the unlikable Daniel Radcliffe as the ever annoying child prodigy, Harry, the Harry Potter movies are the most hideous pieces of filmography. Far too many special effects, hundreds of precocious little stage school brats overacting all over the place, each with their own little Oxford English accent – which should belong to the annals of the past, or upper class boarding schools – not a little orphan boy who lives in a suburban semi with his uncle and auntie.

The stupid, stupid names – which are almost stolen from Lord of The Rings

Find out the latest adventures of Gumblebore, Bumblebee, Warbly Barbly and Buggeryluggs. Bloody stupid names.

Harry Potter lunchboxes, Harry Potter toys, Harry Potter computer games, Harry Potter snakes and ladders

There are two people who promote everything that is marketed at children in the world – and this is a fact – Shrek, and Harry Potter. The seal of approval from one of these two will see any useless old piece of tat sell to every kid in the playground. The problem with this is that it means the little bugger gets everywhere. We have Harry Potter everything now! Including Harry Potter overkill.

The smarmy little prodigal son, who’s brilliant at everything… including magic. Aspirational? Impossible. The annoying little turd.