What has happened to Pluto?

And I don’t mean the lovable dog belonging to Mickey Mouse.

How many people does it take to demolish a planet?

Only 424.

Turned to a dwarf

Pluto has been downgraded to the status of a dwarf planet and no longer counts as our ninth planet of the solar system.

This was decided on the last day of the International Astronomical Union in August 2006, late and after most of the delegates had left.

Alan Stern, leader of the NASA New Horizons Mission to Pluto, said: “Less than five per cent of the world’s astronomers voted. I’m embarrassed for astronomy.”

I am obliged to the Observer Book of Space, published with the Observer newspaper on 11 November 2007, for all this information, as well as for a piece on the 1974 Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence message sent from Arecibo, Puerto Rico.

This was, in brief, a numerical message which would form a picture explaining who we, human beings, are. It included a representation of our solar system.

With nine planets.

As it should be.

Let’s Get Together

Surely we can find more than 424 people who wish to BRING BACK PLUTO and reinstate it as a planet, returning it to the fold.

Join me in the quest by joining the Facebook Group, Bring Back Pluto.

My father, an American born in 1901, insisted that we four children learn the names of the planets from the sun outwards and he was only 29 when Pluto was discovered. He would tell us how exciting that discovery was. In his memory, I hope to re-instate our ninth planet to its full glory.

After all, in his lifetime he learned of the first flight at Kittyhawk and of the first discoverey Pluto and watched the first men walk on the Moon and even worked in the space industry himself. From horse and buggy, to space travel in one man’s lifetime. BRING BACK PLUTO to honour him and all those who have lived in that amazing 20th century.

• For those wishing to know, Pluto the Disney character was named after the planet on its discovery.

Recently the good old Middlesbrough has been labelled as the worst place to live in Britain, with Edinburgh top of the poll.

I work in Middlesbrough and was most amused to see this rant by good old Jeff Stelling, he backs up our office sentiment entirely!

Supermarkets are crap.

These huge aircraft carrier sized warehouses, with their “buy one get one free” and “rollback” offers, provide little to refute any claim that their only concern is the bottom line – above anything else – like customer satisfaction; paying fair prices; and avoiding monopolised markets.

Loyalty Cards

Just to make sure I buy everything from one place, you offer me a penny for every pound spent. That is not loyalty, that is a bribe.

Price Fixing

Due to their size, and enormous buying power, supermarkets can, and do, tell their suppliers how much they will pay for the goods.

Imagine this: apples are buy one get one free – great, you think – but what you don’t realise is that the supermarket has told the farmers producing the apples that, for the duration of the offer, they will pay half price. “Try shifting 2,000 tons of apples to anyone else… before they go off” is their attitude, and it works, effectively holding suppliers to ransom.

Shifting Shelves

Last time I came into this supermarket, the cereal was here, now this aisle is full of Shrek biscuits. You’ve moved everything!

Supermarkets move things around regularly so that you might “impulse buy” something when you nip in to get bread and milk. Another example of the disdain with which they regard their ‘loyal’ customer.

The 5 O’Clock Rush Hour

Not the supermarkets fault, but if you experience the frustration that is entering a supermarket at work chucking out time, you’ll know what I mean. The supermarket becomes heavily congested. It would be quicker to bake bread, than buy it at this time.

The same is true on Saturdays, and, in particular before a holiday which will see the supermarket closed for a day (like Christmas). People cannot seem to grasp that just having one day without shopping will not completely empty their house of food, and instead head to the supermarkets to empty the shelves as fast as they can… all at the same time. Don’t ever try to go into one on Christmas Eve – you’ll just go berserk.

They Aren’t Actually Any Cheaper

Honestly. Try this:

• go to a market for fruit and veg – it will be cheaper, better quality, fresher, and probably won’t be stuffed with preservatives;
• go to a proper butcher for meat – it will be tastier, won’t be wrapped in cellophane, you’ll be able to choose how much you want, and it will be cheaper;
• get your milk from a milkman – if there still are any -  it is far more convenient,  and they usually pay their suppliers a fair price.