Last night we watched Derren Brown, sois-disant Mentalist (mental might be the word) or illusionist, who had trailed his Channel 4 show, The System, as a foolproof way of beating the bookmakers.

He purported to show a single mother, whom he had e-mailed anonymously with five horse racing winners in a row, then was to invite her to Sandown where she was to back a certain horse, the “sixth winner”, with all the money she could muster. She had about £1,000 left from her earlier winnings, borrowed £1,000 from her father and, if maths are right, must have borrowed £2,000 (which she could ill afford) from a loan company.

Brown had her hand him this £4,000 for him to stake for her on Moon Over Miami. Which lost.

The untold hurt she must have felt must have been appalling. I have never in my life seen a show with such a rank, vile, bullying element – not even the dreaded Big Brother.

The denouement was that, of course, the ticket he had handed her had the winner’s name on it, and she collected.

But what he did was unforgiveable, utterly.

The System actually involved contacting some 7,500 or more ordinary people, sending one-sixth of them the name of one horse each in a six-runner race. All losers were then deleted and the “winning” group then divided again into six groups, again given one name each of a further six: so of course, eventually, there were a handful of six people with Five Winners In a Row.

All the “winners” were filmed betting in their fifth race, without yet meeting Brown. Only the winning ticket, the lady featured in the show, was asked back to the appalling torture-fest which was the final game.

The credits said that “all losers were offered their stakes back”, but does not make it clear whether they accepted or not.

This was television at its lowest point. For shame, Derren Brown; for shame, Channel 4.

Recently the good old Middlesbrough has been labelled as the worst place to live in Britain, with Edinburgh top of the poll.

I work in Middlesbrough and was most amused to see this rant by good old Jeff Stelling, he backs up our office sentiment entirely!

I love football and I’m a keeper, so I generally stick up for the man between the posts. However, what Dida of AC Milan did in their UEFA Champions League match against Celtic yesterday places him firmly in the Shitopedia forever.

I’m not putting him in for the mistake that led to Celtic winning the game 2-1 either.

No.

It was his ridiculous play-acting antics when a Celtic fan ran on and quite literally TICKLED his chest. Dida ran towards the fan, then exhibited what can only be described as ‘really, really lame’ acting, as he collapsed on the floor, holding his neck.

Didn’t see it? Watch this:

Dida left the field on a stretcher after this. You couldn’t make it up. First class toss-bag.

This is one thing which irritates me more than any other – advertisements during TV coverage of sport.

It is really annoying how the commercial channels which show sport – any sport – decide to maximise their advertising revenue by showing adverts while the game is in progress.

The main trouble is not just that they show adverts, it is their timing of them. Naturally, the only times in live sport when there is a break long enough to show an advert is when points have just been scored, when there is an injury, or a break (such as half time).

In cricket, the breaks come between wickets. This is not a good time to show an advert! In fact, wickets are the best bit – we want to see a replay, not an ad for Vodafone.

When the rugby is on, as soon as a try is scored, we cut to adverts. Again, this is the time for a replay, not an ad break.

During football, a goal will also see us inflicted with an advertisement.

There are plenty of breaks in play where advertising can be slotted in – injuries are quite a good time – in cricket, the game is designed to have breaks (drinks, lunch, tea etc) show some ads then, by all means.

If you must advertise during sport, then put the advert on the screen – have the scoreboard sponsored in an inobtrusive fashion – but keep showing the play at all times. This would actually have the advertisers branding on the screen for much longer than the 20 second speed ad that we get, and it would also mean we get to actually enjoy the sporting occasion.

Come to mention it, you can even have the replays sponsored if you must, and you’d probably achieve the same amount of revenue, and not piss as many sports fans off in the process.

I once witnessed the ridiculous situation on a horse racing channel when they were happily showing a load of adverts for “unsecured personal loans” but had to cut back because a race had started. By the time they did, it was nearly over, as it was a sprint. And this was on a subscription channel. It is bad news when the one sport you have been paid to provide to your viewers comes secondary to your desire to make advertising dollars…

Sort it out, or stop showing sport on your channel.