The evergreen pushy momma’s boy Usher is a perennial irritant: coming back year after year with his absurd lyrics and insanely catchy base-lines.

Usher’s music is generally above average; the guy can sing; and he also, in his mother, has a built in maternal publicity/management machine. And this is where my questions begin to appear.

Let’s take “love in the club”, the Ush dog’s latest musical offering. I’m worried about any mother who – as manager of her beloved son – would seemingly condone such questionable activities as engaging in promiscuity in a nightclub toilet. On the floor.

That’s not cool, mom.

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Will & Grace has two qualities that none of us look for in a comedy: it’s turgid and unfunny.

For some reason, team written American comedy is still huge, whether the producers are still churning it out or television schedulers around the world are still showing endless repeats in back-to-back episodes, we simply cannot get away from these canned-laugh-a-minute exemplars of inoffensive ‘humor’.

Will & Grace is the worst of these, mostly due to the characters: one of them is funny because he is (hee hee) gay; one of them is funny because she is (ha ha) a woman with problems. Except that none of them are funny at all.

Watching episodes of Will & grace is like a form of torture most inhumane. All episodes need to be pulled from the face of the Earth, there is no redeeming feature.

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(4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)

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How very seasonal! How very wonderful! The day when we all get to lie to each other and call it a joke.

April fools gags can be funny – wearing a sling to work, saying you won £5,000 on a scratchcard, or something equally harmless and witty, but when newspapers and tv stations feel the need to invent stories to ‘catch us out’ I draw the line. That’s not funny. That’s business as usual.

Its hardly a great prank to come up with a plausible story which just isn’t true. Despite using clever word play, or some oh so hilariously named sources.

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“Er, could you fax those signed documents over to me by the close of business?”

“FAX – HELL NO – ITS NOT 1985!”

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(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)

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So-called Sudanese refugee gangs in Australia were consistently misreported as roaming and pillaging when closer inspection on an evening watchdog showed that, in fact, the videos shown on the news actually displayed white robbers watched by Sudanese shoppers.

That was 2007. This year has fared no better with the boyfriend of Sally Anne Bowman, the murdered model, being attributed with the children and convictions of her killer, Mark Dixie. Not only that, but within a few weeks, reports that the deceased Chief Constable of Greater Manchester had written notes to family and friends when, in fact, he hadn’t. Let’s have a look:

Manchester police chief Michael Todd found dead at bottom of cliff

By Nigel Bunyan and Gordon Rayner
Last Updated: 2:34am GMT 16/03/2008

One of Britain’s most senior policemen has been found dead after apparently throwing himself off a cliff in Snowdonia.
# Update: Police chief had been drinking gin before death
# Obituary: Chief Constable Michael Todd’s life
# Chief Constable’s state of mind ‘worried’ officers

Michael Todd, the Chief Constable of Greater Manchester, had written notes to members of his family which indicated an intent to commit suicide, sources said…

To be contrasted with the following:

Police chief had high blood-alcohol level, inquest confirms

This article was first published on guardian.co.uk on Thursday March 13 2008. It was last updated at 17:10 on March 13 2008.
Greater Manchester police chief Michael Todd

Michael Todd, the chief constable of Greater Manchester, had high levels of alcohol in his bloodstream when his body was found on a north Wales mountainside, the inquest into his death was told today.

The doctor who conducted a post-mortem examination said he would withhold his opinion on the cause of death pending toxicology tests on Todd’s blood. But he confirmed the father-of-two did not die as a result of falling.

His body had no major injuries, only “superficial” cuts above the right eye, on the nose, the left shin and the right hand, consultant pathologist Dr Anthony Caslin said.

The coroner, Dewi Pritchard Jones, told the inquest he had decided to give details about Todd’s body at the inquest opening in order to “allay suspicion and fears” created by false media reports. Normally, an inquest opening is a very brief procedure with no details of death given.

“We are hearing this evidence today to get rid of some of the ridiculous stories I have read in the papers and had put to me over the last day,” Pritchard Jones said.

Police are examining whether the 50-year-old police chief killed himself. Todd was found to have 105 milligrams of alcohol per 100 millilitres of blood in his system, Caslin said. The legal limit for driving is 80 milligrams per 100 millilitres…

…An initial post-mortem examination into Todd’s death yesterday found no immediate cause of death.

Caslin said Todd’s body was well-nourished but had a pink discoloration caused by exposure. He was wearing “sturdy” mountain boots that had no scuff markings and his body showed no signs of him jumping to his death. There were no fractures to the spine, skull, ribs or major limbs, and no damage to major organs.

Pritchard-Jones gave his authority for the body to be released to Todd’s family. No date was set for the full inquest…

…Since Todd’s body was recovered on Tuesday evening, there has been speculation about his personal life, the possible cause of death and items found at the scene.

Greater Manchester police have already rejected reports that any notes were found on or near Todd’s body. A series of reports said notes to his family had been discovered.

“The misreporting of this matter has caused considerable distress to Mr Todd’s family,” the police force said in a statement…

…Detectives investigating Todd’s death have been studying notes he left in his flat and phone messages he sent in his final hours showing he was in a distressed state of mind.

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Its time for a new Shitopedia feature. The first ever Shitopedia feature to be precise, after a raft of wholly unsatisfactory ‘news’ wends its way to us every day: on the television, in the newspapers and on the internet.

Each day, I hear at least one story where I think “Is that news? Is that the story? Have you just reported what some idiot said at the time without checking your facts?” There are a huge number of examples to corroborate this – and to launch our special regular feature, we’ll show you a few of them in:

Is It News, Or Are You Making It Up?

Check it out.

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Tom Cruise has truly gone nuts. I’m not one to believe everything I read at the hairdresser’s, but South Park must have hit the nail on the head. I didn’t know how warped his mind was until I saw this performance on Oprah.
continue reading "Tom Cruise -what a nutter"

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(4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)

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I don’t mind the old ex-sassers little reads but why, for the sake of all that is holy, can’t the man invent a character who DOESN’T “throw food down his neck”…

At the very least, come up with another sentence to describe the act of eating.

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(3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

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Jeremy Kyle, and his TV show of the same name, have been out of these pages for far too long.

For years, the unemployed and unwashed of Great Britain had the dubious pleasure of witnessing every social ill that faced the UK played out in the glorious technicolour of the Trisha show. Occasionally, we would hear Trisha’s motherly opinion. Until, one fateful day, Trisha went to channel five, and Jeremy Kyle was discovered, ranting and raving, shortly after pub kicking out time, by ITV executives, who offered him the job of replacing Ms Goddard.

What a shame.

Now we have to listen to this sanctimonious moron’s opinion – and he has one on everything – about why Tracy has been sleeping around with her string of drug and alcohol addicted lovers, or Tyler has trouble dealing with rejection without resorting to aggression. Or we get to see some DNA test results announced.

A judge recently described Kyles show as ” a human form of bear baiting” – not too far from the mark.

Watch the following video clip for more details:

Jeremy Kyle: a ranting, raving buffoon, who feels qualified to treat psychological disorders by shouting at people.

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An obvious entry, but really, nobody likes them, do they?

Traffic wardens per se are not a bad thing. The fundamental problem with a Traffic Warden is their inability to see anything other than black or white (or lines of yellow) – “I’m just stopping for three minutes to unload my car” – TICKET.

Couple that flaw with an appetite for power somewhere on the anti-social side of Genghis Khan, and you see that we have a real social ill developing.

Enough said.

Traffic Wardens: ‘nobody likes us, we don’t care.’

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