Parenting

It’s a phrase I even catch myself using, and I despise it. Whose idea was it to turn ‘parent’ into a verb? It implies that it’s something you do to your kids, rather than something you are. And with this implication comes the inevitable pressure to do it right. ‘Parenting advice’ is a huge market now, and from what I can tell, most of the advice out there can be distilled down as follows:

‘If you don’t breastfeed your baby until it’s two, even if it’s agonisingly painful, you are Rosemary West.’

‘If you even think about solid food while in the same house as your baby for the first six months, it will grow up into the Elephant Man.’

‘If you give your child a routine to follow, it will grow into a mindless automaton. If you don’t give it a routine, God help you.’

‘You are a bad parent.’

‘You are a SHIT parent.’

Basically they are LYING, which, as we all know, is shit.

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