Pavement Crawlers

We’ve all experienced them at one time or another, pavement crawlers are people who walk so slowly that we have to overtake them in the street, on foot.

There are many problems associated with pavement crawlers, not least the problem of actually overtaking people. It is quite bad for me, being a man, if the pavement crawler is a lone female, for example – I am in a rush, but there is little to tell her that I am not, in fact, an assailant of some kind. She begins to get worried and looks over her shoulder a lot as I begin to catch her up – little does she know that I don’t want to attack her, she’s just walking far too slowly to get anywhere in a reasonable time. However, still she will not speed up. I have even on occassion crossed over the road to avoid an embarrasing overtake maneuver.

Other types of pavement crawlers that are particularly annoying are those in groups. Teenage girls are quite bad, as they tend to link arms whilst dawdling up the side of the road, thus blocking the ENTIRE walkway.

Those who stop, without warning, to look in a shop window, should also be banned, as the knock on effects of the swerving and braking all those in the vicinity have to do reaps havoc on pavement proceedings.

There should be some sort of lane system, where tourists and shop browsers can dawdle around in the slow lane, without getting mown down by all the busy people. Failing that, some kind of indicators, or arm signals would be good, e.g. Signal when stopping; wave people round (it is safe to pass); put a yellow light on your head (slow moving object), etc.

Slow moving objects, such as pavement crawlers, are pretty shit.

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